How to get Cthulhu Attacks 2 WAY before anyone else!

Read Part 1

Yes, friends, it is now the moment of truth. All 25 of you, after losing sleep last night, chewing your fingernails down to the nub, becoming irritable at family members and even more irritable about the existence of Twilight: the reward hath come.

I’m going to tell you how to be in the very special (not like that) and exclusive (like that) group that will read Cthulhu Attacks! Book 2: The Faith at least 6 months before anyone else. As I mentioned yesterday, it shall be released as a serial, a chapter at a time, to make me get the goddamn thing out of my head and onto the page.

“Yes, yes,” you say, understandably impatient. “Get to how do we read it already.” (See, I knew you were feeling irritable.)

First, allow me to tell you about the life of a full-time, barely known novelist.

exasperated1“OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

I go to a good number of Comic Cons during the year, 10 to 12 or so, and these provide most of my writerly income. I have a metric shit-ton of books, so selling these books is easier to make money at than would would, say, selling just two books.

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Patreon Supporters’ Schedule of Booky Goodness


Just a reminder: Patreon supporters can choose any (released) book for any month. The chart below is just to show you how much awesomeness you will experience in the Sean Hoade Book of the Month Club. Continue reading

Cthulhu Attacks! Book 2: The Faith is coming soon … for some of you.

Read Part 2

Oh, dear readers and friends, the sour shame! The horripilating humiliation! I have set and then been forced to change the release date of the second book in the Cthulhu Attacks! trilogy, The Faith, again and again and again. There are a couple of reasons why its release has been pushed back like a cat when you try to kiss it.

One is that the first Cthulhu Attacks! book, The Fear, was so well received and sold so well that I have long had anxiety about falling victim to “the sophomore slump.” Think Alanis Morissette’s followup to Jagged Little Pill. Think the first sequel to The Matrix. (DO NOT think of the second sequel at all, ever.)

main-qimg-83e54ca3d84d8d049ee4e0937934c664Damn it, readers. That order was for your protection!

Think of the second season of Heroes. For God’s sake, think of Cuba Gooding, Jr.’s career after he won the Oscar. Seriously, Radio? Fucking Boat Trip? What I’m saying is that sophomore slump is a real thing, even a paralyzing thing, for creative people who have tasted even the barely-rent-paying success of Cthulhu Attacks! Book 1.

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A time and a place for everything, even OMG IMPORTANT STUFF FROM ME

(Note: Below is an announcement stating I will have an announcement on Monday. Think of it as the pregame show for the championship of a sport that no one follows.)

My dear readers, whom I love and appreciate like whoa, I had a big announcement about Cthulhu Attacks! Book 2: The Faith to share this week, but it was, let’s say, trumped by a bigger event, one that has nobody feeling like reading a goddamned blog that isn’t about one of the following:

  • Who’s hiring in Canada? Or New Zealand? Or “Who has Facebook friends in Belgium?”
  • Reports of widespread awfulness
  • The Weimar Republic and how well that turned out

toothbrush-moustachesNot to mention that horrible orange comb-overs will be ruined for everyone from now on.

And this makes sense. As a small- (and micro-) press author, I have to always keep myself on task. That may be writing (of course), setting up sales and networking opportunities at Comic Cons and other (not always pop) cultural gatherings, author “events” (don’t get me started), and just plain begging on the Internet. But this week, Je suis not in the fucking mood.

So, instead of making my announcement that will literally leave you in shrugs today, I’m waiting until Monday. Because, really, other than myself, who really gives a shit this week? Most everyone I know feels like they drank a bottle of tequila and spent the night in a running concrete mixer.

This week is lost. OMG shitty Comic Con this last weekend, then the election, and then the universe killed Leonard Cohen. A horrid week, and nobody, even myself, wants to have plans or read about other people’s plans or do anything because holy fuck. Nobody is hanging on tenterhooks for an author’s “big news,” not even the author.

tenterhooksIn this etching depicting life in 2019 America are “tenterhooks.” Note how no one is waiting on them.

Don’t get me wrong: My fans—and shut up, yes, I do have fans—are interested in what’s going on at Hoade World International Headquarters, aka the “dining area” in our apartment. And I am very grateful to them for their friendship and good taste. But, as the title of this blog post says, there is a time and a place for everything. Now is not the time.

But Monday will be. On Monday I shall share the big news of Cthulhu Attacks! Book 2: The Faith!


See? I told you. Nobody waitin’ on nuthin’ this week. (Except maybe passports.)

Back to the World’s Greatest Blog in the World!

Prehistoric Beasts eBook on sale for 99¢—today only!

My new book (written as “Hugo Navikov,” my publisher’s nom de pulp), Prehistoric Beasts and Where to Fight Them, is on sale for Kindle through the end of today, November 2!

“Just 99 cents?” you ask, incredulous but hopeful.

“Verily!” I answer, as if I were trying to win a bet not to use the word yes. “But hasten, yon knave, for this Kindle sale will last only until the sun sets.”

“In the west?”

“Um … yes, my rhetorical construct. In the west.”

“A question for you, real fast.”

“Proceed,” I say, ingesting tea infused with a packet of Schmeckel’s Patented Headache Powder. 

“How big of a bargain is Prehistoric Beasts and Where to Fight Them, anyway? I mean, it’s 97,000 words of pure pulp pleasure.”

“I somehow knew you were going to ask that incredibly not-stiff and totally spontaneous question. Indeed, for the nominal price of 99 cents—not to mention that it’s FREE to read with Kindle Unlimited—you get every tasty bite of the engrossing and filling literary meal of Prehistoric Beasts.”

I continued, “Break it down, yo: that’s 0.00001 cents per word. That’s one hundred-thousandth of a cent. A great deal for readers, and the word of mouth is going to be good indeed; hence the super sale price.”

“Wow! Ima get mine right now!

Ima? “Gah, please don’t say that.”

“Sorry,” you say. “I mean, Ima get mine very soon!


But get thee to Amazon for the eBook! You can also read the first 10% at before you buy, if you are equally huge parts skeptical and thrifty.

Also, the paperback is available signed and inscribed from me!


Back to The World’s Greatest Blog in the World!

It’s November! Time to start your novel!

Hey, Cats and Kittens!

It’s November 1st, the kickoff of National Novel Writing Month! You can write a novel draft any old month, but when you do NaNoWriMo, there are resources a-plenty to keep you inspired and working toward your most excellent goal:

  1. If you are a Vegasite, come to the Green Valley Library (on Sunset & Green Valley) for my talk and interactive workshop tonight at 6pm! (The video may be streamed live if I can figure out how to do that, but at the very least, it will be uploaded onto YouTube immediately after.)
  2. Ehrmagerd, SO MUCH of helpful stuff at! I love to use the word-count tracker, because then I can watch my slow but unceasing progress toward SUCCESS!
  3. And this initial message from the NaNo folks to Vegas-area writers, which I am including in its entirety below. It lists writing meet-ups for the next week in the Valley, but no matter where you are (within reason), there is a meet-up close to you, I guarantee! Just look on the NaNoWriMo site and you shall find like-minded writerly types!

Good luck, godspeed, and get going!


And so it begins! Have you started writing yet? If not, that’s okay. You have the whole rest of the day to get a good start on your novel. If you need some help and inspiration, we have at least one write-in every single day in November. Yep, you heard right. Take a look at the next seven days worth of write-ins:

  • Tuesday 11/1 – Panera Bread (Lake Mead/Tenaya) – 6pm – 9pm
  • Wednesday 11/2 – The Writer’s Block (Downtown) – 6pm – 7:30pm
  • Thursday 11/3 – Bruno’s Pizza (Southwest) – 5pm – 8pm
  • Friday 11/4 – Buffalo Wild Wings (North LV) – 10:30pm – 1:30am **21+ only
  • Saturday 11/5 – Wetlands Cafe (Southeast) – 9am – 2pm
  • Sunday 11/6 – The Writer’s Block (Downtown) – 12pm – 3pm
  • Monday 11/7 – Moe’s (Downtown Summerlin) – 5pm – 8pm

The Las Vegas Romance Writers are also hosting a write-in on Saturday, November 5th from 10am to 1pm. They have reserved space at the Sundance Grill in Silverton Casino. They have a lot of fun stuff planned and it’s a great opportunity to learn more about their group. Check out the LVRWA website for more information:

As always, click here to check out the regional calendar for full details on every write-in, including addresses, menu links, and descriptions. The calendar is your soulmate. The calendar is always there for you. Our regional forum is getting lots of activity right now too, so make sure to stop by.

Now that you know where to find us, let’s get to our weekly pep talk. Our amazing head volunteer, Kyo, has written a fabulous day one pep talk for you. Take it away, Kyo!

Right now, you’re probably feeling pretty excited about your story, and with good reason! You are a pioneer, about to explore the furthest reaches of your own imagination. Adventure awaits! Maybe you’ll discover a whole colony of plot bunnies, or maybe you’ll just pick one and follow it to the very edge of the galaxy. There could be a whole new planet out there, one just waiting for you to invent people who can look up at new stars and marvel at how they got there. Like space, the possibilities are endless!

However…at some point, you’re going to run into problems. Maybe you’ll run out of fuel in week two. Maybe you’ll follow that plot bunny right into a dead end or an asteroid field of “this doesn’t work”. Maybe you’ll get lost. Maybe you’ll struggle because you’re certain that you arent the first person to write this story or this character. Maybe real life will contrive to ground you before you ever really get going.

Don’t give up.

That excitement you feel right now is a rare element, and it can power you through even the toughest times. Hold on to it, and remember the things you love about this idea right now. Let that excitement and love power you this month as you reach for the stars and for 50,000 words, and when that’s not enough, it’s okay to send out a distress beacon to your fellow Wrimos. We may not be able to go where you’re going, but we can cheer you on, offer advice, and remind you that you can do this. Think of us as your mission command: we can’t help you unless we know there’s a problem, but once you radio in for help, we’ll do everything we can to help make your mission a success!

And, if all else fails, remember this: if you only wrote one word, that’s still one more word than you had yesterday. Imagine your words as steps on an alien planet – each one gives you the opportunity to learn something or discover something new, and there is so much value in that experience! Don’t be ashamed if you fall behind or if you can’t finish. Be proud that you began! The most important part of being a pioneer is the willingness to try. Don’t forget to celebrate that part of yourself!

Today is the first day of your journey. Where will you go, and what will you discover? What vast new reaches will you explore? What will you learn? Anything is possible, fellow Wrimo. Anything. Are you ready? 3…2…1…blast off!

Thanks for reading, and we hope to see you soon! Happy writing, Vegas Wrimos.

Rachel & Vicci
Regional Forum | Regional Calendar

Vegas writers: Hear me! Hear me! For I tell of NaNoWriMo seminars!

As many of us know and almost as many care, that magical month of novel-writing—NaNoWriMo!—will be upon us in just 2 days. On November 1st, buttloads of eager writers will start scratching, typing, or using-their-thumbs-or-something out the first draft of a 50,000-word novel. This includes Yours Truly, and it is a nice feeling to win this, especially because you then have a draft to rewrite!



But before you experience the joys of making your draft into a masterpiece, you must first write that draft. Not quite sure how to proceed? Continue reading