A horrifying racist loved my novel! Oh, joy!

NOT A JOKE: THIS POST IS *FULL* OF TRIGGER WORDS. IF YOU HAVE BEEN VICTIMIZED BY RAPISTS, RACISTS, NEO-NAZIS, OR GENERAL INTERNET CRUELTY, PLEASE READ THIS CAUTIOUSLY IF YOU DECIDE TO READ IT AT ALL.

AGAIN, THIS POST IS *NOT* A JOKE.

Okay, so who likes stories involving irony, intellectual dilemmas, and mixed feelings? Check this out:

I got an email this morning which showed a very close and careful reading of my Hugo Navikov book, Space Explosions! Pew! Pew! Pew! The writer obviously liked the book and gave me a playful hard time about there not being any actual explosions in space in the novel. That was great, and I am pleased at my reader’s enthusiasm.

Um … however.

oh-no 
Jesus Christ. Okay, go on.

The sender’s domain name was “nigge.rs.”

Again, that would be NIGGE.RS.

Um … maybe it’s a rap star’s custom domain! Yeah, that must be what it is. Except that would be “nigg.az,” the computer-savvy rapper being straight outta Azerbaijan.

Well, maybe the fellow’s nickname is “Little Nigge,” like, because his given name is “Nigel” or something. Yeah, that’s probably what it is—”Nigel” is a common British name, so the “.rs” suffix is probably for “Ringo Starr” or “Rumpled Scones” or something else very, very English.

So, God help me, I checked.

From Wikipedia:

rs is the Internet country code top-level domain (ccTLD) for Serbia. The domain name registry that operates it is the Serbian National Internet Domain Registry (RNIDS). The letters rs stand for Republika Srbija / Република Србија (Republic of Serbia).

Now, I don’t think of Serbia as an especially racist nation (y’know, except for that whole ethnic cleansing and genocide of the 1990s, but that was intramural between white people). Also, Serbia is a slavic country and Russia is most supportive of slavic countries. Russia is also infamous for being a wretched hive of bad-hacker scum and villiany. So, even though this email writer liked and appreciated my book, there were several attachments that I wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole (or Pole, since we’re talking slavic countries).

A little digging produced a list of other domains under this top-level domain (which, classily, is “cock.li,” from Liechtenstein, of all places) other than the disturbing “nigge.rs.” Have a look and then maybe have a long, hot shower:

cockWell, that’s certainly classy.

cock.li
cumallover.me (Montenegro, in the Balkans, is right next to Slovakia, a slavic country)

dicksinhisan.us
loves.dicksinhisan.us
wants.dicksinhisan.us
dicksinmyan.us
loves.dicksinmyan.us
wants.dicksinmyan.us
goat.si (I don’t want to know why Slovenia, another slavic country, is home to this one)
horsefucker.org
national.shitposting.agency
nigge.rs
cock.lu (straight outta Luxembourg, for a change of pace)
cock.email
hitler.rocks
getbackinthe.kitchen
cocaine.ninja

Now, as a writer, American, and not-horrible human being, I respect free speech, and no one, at least not directly, is being harmed by a domain name called “loves.dicksinhisan.us.” A dirty joke—and, on occasion, perhaps, an ill-advised ethnic joke—aren’t doing anything to help the world, but they relieve tension among some people and hardly compare to the hate and vulgarity spewed so vehemently by the most privileged people in all of history.

But shit, man. “nigge.rs”? “hitler.rocks”? “getbackinthe.kitchen”? THESE are some of the people reading my books and liking them enough to contact me with evidence that they really did read and like them?

Sometimes I think I should’ve listened to my Dad and become a postal worker. I guarantee I’d be better at it than Mississippi postmaster William Faulkner, who routinely “lost the mail [and] spent the afternoons playing Mah Jong and sometimes going on a round of golf.” (Actually, come to think of it, I probably wouldn’t be better at it, even by Faulkner standards. I hate jobs and they hate me. I also don’t care for golf.)

cock2To their credit, Cock.li is very inclusive. They have not only video games (OMG WHAT COULD THOSE BE?) and “quality discussion,” but also “fags.” Definite LGBT win right there.

I despise racism and sexism. OBVIOUSLY no sane person thinks racial hate, misogyny, and sexual abuse is anything but stomach-turning. Right now I feel like I’m the New Balance shoe company right now, with white supremacists saying it’s the shoe of choice for them, and the company fiercely rejecting the Nazis’ “endorsement.” Of course, NB is a business and thus welcomes all customers interested in their company’s products, but even if they got 100 percent of the white supremacist market due to this and their profits skyrocketed, they would still be sickened and fight unrelentingly against those bigots and hateful organizations claiming their brand as “the official shoe of Neo-Nazis.” I wear New Balance shoes, and I am neither a neo-Nazi nor a white supremacist of any kind, I assure you.

Oh, 2016, you tricky devil! You have brought little but misery to everyone I know, and now I’m getting fan mail from people who love rape and lynching, to help me ring in the holiday season! Thanks, worst year ever!

I reject you, user at “nigge.rs.” Buy my books if you like, and I hope you enjoy them, certainly, but leave this author the fuck out of it.

 

Back to The World’s Greatest Blog in the World!

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BIG TIME ALERT: My first outgoing blurbage!

Hey, guys, getting ready to go on Con Trip II: This Time, It’s Not on a Fucking Bus! 

But first, I’m kind of excited because, even though Medicaid pays for my medicine and “scraping by” refers to those times when we pay the whole electric bill at once, I was asked for a blurb! And I did it and now it’s on the book and no one can take it away!

Check it. It’s for my friend Jim Smiley’s upcoming horror novel, Girl’s Night In, which stands all of the tropes of horror fiction on its head:

Blurb from Sean Hoade

Next time: OMG CONS!!!

That Moment When You Feel Legit

Hey there, guys and dolls! Sorry I’ve been so quiet lately, but I’m getting TWO — no, wait, THREE — book projects ready, so I haven’t had time to blog. I put a lot into writing these, OKAY?

Anyway:

  1. Cthulhu Attacks! Book 1: The Fear is coming along very nicely for Severed Press and should be ready to turn into them in the next few weeks.
  2. Zombie School Confidential, my nonfiction book on zombie lore and our cultural obsession with them, has a brilliant cover by Putnam Finch and brilliant editing by one Mrs. Ann Hoade. (Who is a professional editor, so 😛 on you.)
  3. My novel The Act needs only to be polished and this project, originally written 22 years ago, will be ready to go to press.

All of that is well and good, BUT what this blog entry is really about is this: I have gotten my own “Special Guest” graphic on the Salt Lake Comic Con website!

sean at slcc copy

What with my sponsorship from my wonderful Patreon supporters; running two writing workshops, which are going great; and my association with Matt Wiseman and Shoggoth.net, I’m feeling almost partially legit these days!

Still living hand-to-mouth, but legit!

Zombies DON’T just wanna have fun, Part Two: No more Mr. Nice Anyone Ever Again

Caution: This post is about the realities of what a zombie apocalypse would entail, and how someone like me represents those realities in his fiction. This subject was inspired by a negative review of Reviva Las Vegas!, but it is only tangentially related to that review. 

Read Part One

Both of my blog followers may recall that yesterday I came to the conclusion that a bad review—as well as some mitigating comments in some good reviews—of my new novel, Reviva Las Vegas!, may have been caused by the extremely dark view of mankind (not to mention zombiekind) in the face of a true zombie apocalypse.

Continue reading

Publicity! or How Ima Get Everybody To Know My Name

Gentle Readers, I must apologize. it has been inexcusably long since I have sattened down and written a true “Sean the Writer” blog entry. Actually, I do have a good excuse, one that many of you writers out there may be familiar with: I had come down with a serious case of employment. It lasted for eight months and three days, but I underwent a sudden remission on March 31st, when my boss cured me of this particular strain.

barrel

“Good news, sir. We have removed every trace of that dastardly ‘affluenza.’ “

Now, while this has had a somewhat negative effect on my immediate financial situation (on a totally unrelated note, did you know that a LOT of people at McDonald’s don’t finish all their fries?), I have been free since the end of March to do the following:

  1. Cry into my booze.
  2. Finish getting the books that were supposed to be published by a certain press actually out there into the world.

The Perdition of Self-Publication

Fortunately the former took up only a couple of days, and I’ve been concentrating on the latter since then. So now I have five—count ’em, FIVE—self-published books out there in the libraverse. Self-publishing is kind of like hanging out outside the gates of Hell, you know? You refuse to abandon all hope and enter, but it doesn’t look like you’ll be experiencing Heaven any time soon, either.

shutterstock_41157073

Kinda like this, only while you were in there the doctor retired and the building was condemned.

You are probably nauseatingly familiar with these books, but what the hell, get a bucket while I provide a bit of background on the shocking story behind the self-pubbing of each of them:

  1. Ain’t That America. I first put this out in 2000, before the current craze of everybody who has an email address writing and publishing a book-like entity. It did all right, but I was never really satisfied with how it looked and felt. So in 2014, I changed everything up and published a second edition with CreateSpace. This edition is beautiful and also $14.99 instead of iUniverse’s (the former publisher) kind of extortionate $19.95. It is my most exciting book–find out why by reading the first 150 pages free on my website. Then you will SO want to buy it.
  2. Darwin’s Dreams. Too experimental for mainstream publication, too historical and pensive for genre publication, my tale of Darwin and his Beagle captain came out in 2008 and I still think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written. I did this with CreateSpace as well, which gives the author complete control over all aspects of the book’s presentation. (I stayed with CreateSpace for the next three as well.) Take a look at the first half. I believe it will leave you spellbound and wanting to read the rest.
  3. Inappropriate Behavior. My weird collection of stories from pornographic to literary. It came out in 2011 to no fanfare, but those who have bought it seem to have enjoyed it. Want to read a story from the collection? It’s perfect to buy if you’re tasteful and eclectic and generally cool.

Sean dancing at SLCCC

Like me.

  1. Deadtown Abbey. Okay, this is where Permuted Press’s utter anal abuse of its authors comes into play. They contracted with me for this and for 9 other books, but then pulled their shit and I canceled the contract. However, before that happened, I had “published” the advance reading copy of this to sell at Cons and use for reviews and such once the actual book was close to coming out. Now that it will never be coming out from those jerks, I have a new jacket design, have made a few corrections to the copy, and republished it just this past week. It is a riot but also has good horror elements too. Judith O’Dea (“Barbra” from Night of the Living Dead) read it and called it “hilarious.” (I love Judith O’Dea.) You can read the first 100 pages of it for free (and then buy it if you like it) right here.

Me and Judith O'DeaDid I mention I’m a fan?

  1. Reviva Las Vegas! Okay, as much as I despise that joke of a publishing outfit now, I must admit that this book probably wouldn’t exist without the impetus of their (now I know) phony contract. I don’t know if people really get the gag of the title, so I will explain it here: It’s a story about Las Vegas after the zombie apocalypse. Zombies are “revived” corpses. A famous saying (and song) is “Viva Las Vegas!” So I put them together and made it RE-viva Las Vegas! Semi-interesting factoid: This is technically subtitled Book 1: Dead Man’s Hand. That’s because it was originally going to be the first book in a trilogy. That isn’t the case any longer, but Amazon won’t let me officially change the title. Ah, well. I self-published an advance reading copy with a cover I just threw together, but once the contract fell apart, I redid it and made it right as rain. Now it’s available with a real cover, correctly formatted interior, and truly magical words inside. Want to read the first half? Then I bet you’ll want to buy it—you’ll love it.

fry-money-screenshot

You, after reading the samples. I can totally shut up and work with you on the money thing.

Next time: The actual publicity what is happening!

Why You’ll Never Be Successful (And Live A Mediocre Life)

by Yann Girard (author of Confessions of an Entrepreneur)

A few years ago when people were still writing down all sort of crap into their “about me” tab on Facebook there was this one thing where they asked you what your favorite quote was. Remember it?

shutterstock_155822504

Favorite quote: “Please, God, let it end.”

That’s what I wrote down there:

“We’ve been all raised by television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars, but we won’t and we’re slowly learning that fact. and we’re very very pissed off.”

Read the rest at LinkedIn.com!

Joe Warnimont on “Why You Shouldn’t Take Pride In Your Work”

November 6, 2014 by

I’ve always maintained the idea that it’s best to not take pride in your work.

This is a quote I stated in a recent interview I completed for the Lift App Author Series. I want to outline the meaning of this quote and explain exactly why I think that the idea of taking pride in your work is so often over-embellished and troubling for those who need to simply sit back, relax and do the work, instead of getting cocky or worrying about something that you probably won’t care about at all in the future.

Why is taking pride in your work not the best of ideas?

You Won’t Get Anything Done

I’ve always maintained the idea that taking too much pride in your work leads to perfectionism and a mindset that everything must end up flawless. …

Read the rest at Write With Warnimont!

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