A time and a place for everything, even OMG IMPORTANT STUFF FROM ME

(Note: Below is an announcement stating I will have an announcement on Monday. Think of it as the pregame show for the championship of a sport that no one follows.)

My dear readers, whom I love and appreciate like whoa, I had a big announcement about Cthulhu Attacks! Book 2: The Faith to share this week, but it was, let’s say, trumped by a bigger event, one that has nobody feeling like reading a goddamned blog that isn’t about one of the following:

  • Who’s hiring in Canada? Or New Zealand? Or “Who has Facebook friends in Belgium?”
  • Reports of widespread awfulness
  • The Weimar Republic and how well that turned out

toothbrush-moustachesNot to mention that horrible orange comb-overs will be ruined for everyone from now on.

And this makes sense. As a small- (and micro-) press author, I have to always keep myself on task. That may be writing (of course), setting up sales and networking opportunities at Comic Cons and other (not always pop) cultural gatherings, author “events” (don’t get me started), and just plain begging on the Internet. But this week, Je suis not in the fucking mood.

So, instead of making my announcement that will literally leave you in shrugs today, I’m waiting until Monday. Because, really, other than myself, who really gives a shit this week? Most everyone I know feels like they drank a bottle of tequila and spent the night in a running concrete mixer.

This week is lost. OMG shitty Comic Con this last weekend, then the election, and then the universe killed Leonard Cohen. A horrid week, and nobody, even myself, wants to have plans or read about other people’s plans or do anything because holy fuck. Nobody is hanging on tenterhooks for an author’s “big news,” not even the author.

tenterhooksIn this etching depicting life in 2019 America are “tenterhooks.” Note how no one is waiting on them.

Don’t get me wrong: My fans—and shut up, yes, I do have fans—are interested in what’s going on at Hoade World International Headquarters, aka the “dining area” in our apartment. And I am very grateful to them for their friendship and good taste. But, as the title of this blog post says, there is a time and a place for everything. Now is not the time.

But Monday will be. On Monday I shall share the big news of Cthulhu Attacks! Book 2: The Faith!

tenterhooks2

See? I told you. Nobody waitin’ on nuthin’ this week. (Except maybe passports.)

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Prehistoric Beasts eBook on sale for 99¢—today only!

My new book (written as “Hugo Navikov,” my publisher’s nom de pulp), Prehistoric Beasts and Where to Fight Them, is on sale for Kindle through the end of today, November 2!

“Just 99 cents?” you ask, incredulous but hopeful.

“Verily!” I answer, as if I were trying to win a bet not to use the word yes. “But hasten, yon knave, for this Kindle sale will last only until the sun sets.”

“In the west?”

“Um … yes, my rhetorical construct. In the west.”

“A question for you, real fast.”

“Proceed,” I say, ingesting tea infused with a packet of Schmeckel’s Patented Headache Powder. 

“How big of a bargain is Prehistoric Beasts and Where to Fight Them, anyway? I mean, it’s 97,000 words of pure pulp pleasure.”

“I somehow knew you were going to ask that incredibly not-stiff and totally spontaneous question. Indeed, for the nominal price of 99 cents—not to mention that it’s FREE to read with Kindle Unlimited—you get every tasty bite of the engrossing and filling literary meal of Prehistoric Beasts.”

I continued, “Break it down, yo: that’s 0.00001 cents per word. That’s one hundred-thousandth of a cent. A great deal for readers, and the word of mouth is going to be good indeed; hence the super sale price.”

“Wow! Ima get mine right now!

Ima? “Gah, please don’t say that.”

“Sorry,” you say. “I mean, Ima get mine very soon!

Sigh.

But get thee to Amazon for the eBook! You can also read the first 10% at KillGigadon.com before you buy, if you are equally huge parts skeptical and thrifty.

Also, the paperback is available signed and inscribed from me!

 

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