Yes, friends, it is now the moment of truth. All 25 of you, after losing sleep last night, chewing your fingernails down to the nub, becoming irritable at family members and even more irritable about the existence of Twilight: the reward hath come.
I’m going to tell you how to be in the very special (not like that) and exclusive (like that) group that will read Cthulhu Attacks! Book 2: The Faith at least 6 months before anyone else. As I mentioned yesterday, it shall be released as a serial, a chapter at a time, to make me get the goddamn thing out of my head and onto the page.
“Yes, yes,” you say, understandably impatient. “Get to how do we read it already.” (See, I knew you were feeling irritable.)
First, allow me to tell you about the life of a full-time, barely known novelist.
“OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!”
I go to a good number of Comic Cons during the year, 10 to 12 or so, and these provide most of my writerly income. I have a metric shit-ton of books, so selling these books is easier to make money at than would would, say, selling just two books.
However, I believe I may have reached a point of diminishing returns at Cons: the last two, although a lot of fun for meeting people and making network-type connections, have not been money-makers for Yours Truly. Luckily, I live in Vegas and can work part-time as a rent boy if necessary.
Hello, sailors! If you think they’re standing erect now, just wait ’til they pull into Las Vegas Harbor.
So, although Cons will still be a major part of my writing income, the total income is still going to be smack dab in the middle of Medicaid-and-food-stamp territory. Which is fine, although slightly embarrassing at the food store when I’m right behind a homeless guy paying for whiskey in nickels he earned the old-fashioned way: graft and pushing around pilfered shopping carts filled with either garbage or a bunch of blankets. (Or both.)
But what helps keep me afloat and my wife awash in all the things money isn’t necessary to buy are my Patreon patrons. (Not to mention my one-time but wonderful Tesla Trilogy Kickstarter supporters.) If you’re not familiar with Patreon, let me tell you that is an extremely popular and effective way to support artists you enjoy or think you might enjoy or who are just offering such fantastic rewards for support that you just can’t not sign up.
Rewards like, say, a planet made of diamond. (Travel expenses not included.)
See, my Patreon supporters donate a mere $20 per month—wait, come back, let me finish—and they become elite members of The Sean Hoade Book of the Month Club. (Okay, there are no non-elite members, but still.) This means that every one of them gets a signed and inscribed novel, Penny Dreadful novelette, or, now, SERIAL INSTALLMENTS of a book not yet released EVERY FRICKIN’ MONTH. Using starting in January as an example—and don’t forget, you choose which book you want for which month, check it:
Okay, I moved the ginormous chart of book releases from now until SEPTEMBER FREAKIN’ 2019 onto its own post right here (it’s also at the end of this post), on account of it’s long and wonderful … but enough about my sex life.
So here’s the deal: If you become a $20/month supporter of my Sean Hoade Book of the Month Patreon Love Fest, you not only get a new and exclusive as hell serial installment of Cthulhu Attacks! Book 2: The Faith, but you ALSO get the regular book you’ve chosen for that month.
And ALSO ALSO, when the regular novel form of Cthulhu Attacks 2 is released, you get that as a monthly book choice as well!
If you have any questions, just drop me a line at email@example.com and I’ll fill you in! But enough about my sex li—
Sheesh, you are irritable! I think I’ll just stop there.