Part III: Get in here for books delivered to you EVERY month!
To skip all of the fascinating content below and just join my Book of the Month Club, visit my Patreon page. $20 a month gets you fresh books until at least the end of 2019!
I looked at my stats for the blogs the past couple of days and we’re looking at like 50 views and no “likes.” That’s all right, I understand you might want to wait for the grand finale, the coup de grâce, the pièce de résistance!
Zee … how you say … zee baguettes!
Well, Frenchie, wait no more! This is what this so-far viewed-but-apparently-unliked 3-part blog series has led up to:
The Sean Hoade Book of the Month Club!
As we talked about in Part II of this series, I have 13 books and Penny Dreadful short novels out in the world. (Part I is also available if you missed it, you lucky ducks.) In the next month or two, an additional two novels, Silver-Age SF novel The Act and the sequel to Space Explosions! Pew! Pew! Pew!, of course titled Space Explosions 2: Pew Pew Boogaloo. That’s 15 books, all of which are of such high quality that the frickin NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW won’t review it because a 10-star review would make all of their other authors feel bad. This would be especially galling to those hoity-toity fancypants elite respected authors because the Times Book Review doesn’t even use rating stars.
So let’s say that, despite the towering odds against it, you don’t have any of my current books. You’re probably like, “Hey, how do I get the other residents at this RV park to respect me more?” The answer to this dilemma? Sign up to receive one Sean Hoade book every month until at least 2019 and maybe even further into the future. (Details below.)
“What do you mean the new Hoade book isn’t here yet, strangely well-dressed human slave?”
“Hey,” you say, and you’re darned tootin’, “I supported his Kickstarter back in February for the Tesla Trilogy. One of the rewards I was getting was his backlist—you tryin’ to pull something funny here or what?”
No, indeed, let me assure you. In fact, when you join the SHBotMC (an acronym I will not be using anymore, because it looks like Shitbot MC, the most fly DJ in the “Androids Only” bathroom), you will get a survey in which you let me know what books of mine you already have or are slated to receive through your Patreon support or Kickstarter backing. Those who have been my beloved Patreon peeps have already been getting a book every month, so if you’re one of those folks, just let me know what books you have and we’ll start you with any you don’t have first.
But let’s say that you don’t have any (or just one or two) of my books that are currently available. I’ll say Cthulhu Attacks! and Zombie School Confidential as an example. You will encounter this survey:
Please indicate the order in which you would like my currently available books. (Synopses and samples are at SeanHoade.com/books.) Put an X next to any books you do not want or already own.
_1_ Ain’t That America
_3_ Darwin’s Dreams
_6_ Inappropriate Behavior
etc. Deadtown Abbey
___ Reviva Las Vegas!
___ Eleven Inches From Heaven: The Adventures of Cal Longwood, Porn Star Detective (#1 of serial novel)
_X_ Cthulhu Attacks!
_X_ Zombie School Confidential
___ Congo Bongo (BotM Club EXCLUSIVE! Not available anywhere else!)
___ Space Explosions! Pew! Pew! Pew! (BotM Club EXCLUSIVE!)
___ Nikola Tesla vs. The Daylight Vampires (Hoade’s Penny Dreadfuls #1)
___ Absinthe in Arkham (HPD #2)
___ Lovecraft Cackles (HPD #3)
___ Space Explosions 2: Pew Pew Boogaloo (BotM Club EXCLUSIVE!)
___ The Act
___ NO PREFERENCE IN ORDER OF BOOKS
See? Easier than a sorority girl at Mardi Gras. (Or, to be fair, any man ever born.) You just put an “X” in books you don’t need or … *sniff* … don’t want. Then you put the order in which you’d like each book, like the examples above. If you don’t have a particular hankering for receiving certain books before others, just put a check in the line at the bottom, “NO PREFERENCE IN ORDER OF BOOKS.” I’ll pick good ones for ya!
Note: For books with sequels or are parts of a series, the first entries will always come before the second, the second before the third, and so on.
Here is a picture of some numbers in order. You’re welcome.
“That’s all well and good,” you say because you were apparently born before World War I, “but how much does it cost to be a part of this exclusive Club of Books?”
I’m so glad you asked that, rhetorical interlocutor, especially since I made you up. But get this: it’s just $20 per month, sent via Patreon, which is extremely protective of its users (that’s you) and would whip me like I was sweet cream if I did not deliver every month. (Also, just ask my current Patreon supporters—they have gotten a book every month for something like 10 months already, but it wasn’t formalized and stuff like the new Book of the Month Club.)
This $20 per month brings you:
- A brand-new, signed and inscribed by the author (me) to you (you), book every month!
- An eBook download of that month’s book!
- EXCLUSIVE books that NO ONE but Club members will get—these editions WILL NOT be for sale online or at Cons or anywhere else!
- PLUS the just-released audiobook of Book 1 of Cthulhu Attacks!
“AUDIOBOOKS ARE EXTREMELY CONVENIENT!” — Cthulhu
So there you have it. From Part II you’ll recall that there are thirty books listed, and those aren’t even including new Penny Dreadfuls or newly commissioned books from my publisher. You will have a new book every month, guaranteed. AND you’ll be helping me as a writer and artist who gives great appreciation to all of his supporters.
If you’re interested in joining or just hearing more about the Sean Hoade Book of the Month Club, just drop me a line at email@example.com with your contact info (really, just name and email address) and I can get you set up. Or, if you’re already savvy on all things Patreon, just come on board at my Patreon Book of the Month Club page!
You rock for reading this. I hope we can do this together!