My next blog post will be about the “Sean Hoade Book of the Month Club.” It will be très cool.
It’s an old saying that “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Truer, less-helpful words have never been spoken. Did life also give you water and a shit-ton of sugar? How about ice? Yeah, not so easy now, is it, Mister Aphorism?
Anyway, life has provided me with several variations of citrus fruit in the past little while. We’ve talked about the cancer. We’ve discussed the Con schedule. And now we must mention the ghostwriting.
My awesome publisher contacted me back in November of last year to ghost-write a novel about an Indiana Jones-esque adventurer who saves people in the Congo from a raging Spinosaur. I call this book Congo Bongo because I was paid and told to not say I wrote the actual book under its actual title. The Spinosaur was the main antagonist in Jurassic Park III, if you don’t count the resistance my brain had to envisioning William H. Macy and Tea Leone as a romantic couple. <shiver>
In any case, same animal. But my book as assigned has a twist! Okay, are you ready for this? While Jurassic Park‘s Spinosaur came from the ill-advised breeding program run by Santa Claus, adult Damien, and Seth Brundle, Congo Bongo‘s Spinosaur was already there in the Congo! That’s a big-ass jungle and ginormous river, so one can suspend disbelief and have fun or you can be a nit-picking Debbie Downer and ruin everyone’s day.
Very satisfied with Congo Bongo, my publisher asked me if I wanted
to pay rent this month to pen another ghostwriting novel. Well, I said yes, and now Space Explosions! Pew! Pew! Pew! will soon be on shelves under a different title and author name.
And he let me know today that there would be further ghostwriting assignments to come.
So these aren’t exactly cases of life giving anything but money-fruit. I am kind of impressed with myself that I’m now a “pulp novel writer for hire” sort of fellow. However, it has wrought havoc with my announced publication schedule, which has already been changed several times. I do sincerely apologize for the changes, and I am now going to take the sage advice that I not put exact dates or months on when certain books will be coming out. So let’s talk order, not exact dates.
My contract with Severed Press calls for the three volumes in the Cthulhu Attacks! trilogy, plus a standalone novel about Megalodons, these supposedly extinct prehistoric alpha predators, being fought by people and, I imagine, ultimately being destroyed.
That’s it: “Novel about Megalodons.”
Now, me being me, I turned that into The Tesla Trilogy, three Steampunky adventures that involve not only Megalodons but also time travel, giant robots, and an existential investigation of the nature of time, being, and fate. This, I suddenly realized, was way too esoteric and, how should I say this, not really about Megalodons. Severed had once rejected Reviva Las Vegas! because it wasn’t the blood-and-guts type of zombie story their readers expect and prefer. (It’s a bit more, pardon the zombie pun, cerebral.)
Well, Mr. Tesla and Mr. Darwin Fight Edison’s Ravenous Megalodons through the Judicious Use of Time Travel and Giant Robots (and its two follow-ups) make Reviva Las Vegas! look like Cannibal Holocaust in the blood-and-guts department. This would not bode well for the marketing and sales of The Tesla Trilogy.
Thus, with Severed’s blessing, I am writing a standalone Megalodon novel as the contract called for. (Severed had never actually bought the last two Tesla books, but they were interested in them.) This book will now be written and released before Cthulhu Attacks! Book 2: The Faith. And what is this book? It is:
Captain Nemo vs. The Megalodon! Granted, that’s not the most spectacular title in the world, and I think most modern readers and such will see “Nemo” and think Finding Nemo or even the old-school graphic novel Little Nemo. Thus, I’m seriously considering calling it something like Gilded Age Megalodon or Steampunk Megalodon or the like. But that’s the working title. It will take Jules Verne’s famous insane submarine captain and put him up against not some silly Kraken, but against, yes, M E G A L O D O N S!
I bet you did not see that coming.
So what about the novels already in the pipeline? What about the Kickstarter project of The Tesla Trilogy? What about Cthulhu Attacks books 2 and 3?
I am currently shopping the Tesla books around to some agents and publishers. I have to write some pretty intense synopses of all three books (the first one being a bit easier, but not a lot easier) and have the first one finished and polished to send out before I can really expect any kind of response.
However, Kickstarter folks need not worry—all the rewards shall be coming to you in their full glory! Just the actual Tesla books (and of course the Deluxe Omnibus Edition) will be delayed. I will send out promised backlist ebooks, print books, and (soon to come) audiobooks to those KS supporters waiting for them. I might see if I can’t have special editions of the three novels specially printed for my KS supporters and not put on sale anywhere else if the search for a new publisher drags on. Kinda best of both worlds there! So watch this space for news.
Anyway, the next book coming out after Captain Nemo vs. Megalodons will be the second book in the Cthulhu Attacks! trilogy, The Faith. If the first Tesla book has not yet been released, then the third Cthulhu book, The Fight, shall be the next one coming to you.
If whatever publisher who picks up The Tesla Trilogy releases them in a serendipitous time frame, each Tesla book will come out just after each Cthulhu book. But for now, the last two installments of the Cthulhu Attacks! trilogy will be released before any of the Tesla books.
That said, there will still be Tesla as well as Lovecraftian Penny Dreadfuls coming out irregularly for your reading enjoyment.
Please note that I am not now putting exact dates on when any of these will be released. But I do promise that as soon as I know, you shall know.
And thank you ever so much for your patience. It shall be rewarded!