NEW REWARDS! Also, any sadists looking for fun out there?

All, right, dear peeps o’ mine, there’s 4½ days left of the Tesla Trilogy Kickstarter, a project which, when complete, will grace the world with three exciting and Steampunk-y (but not too Steampunk-y) novels featuring Nikola Tesla, who tries to not only bring us all wireless energy but also works to save the world in:

  • Tesla and Darwin vs. Time Travel Edison’s Megalodons
  • Tesla and Edison Reluctantly Unite to Fight the Order of the Mystic Eye
  • Telsa and Nellie Bly vs. Mirror Tesla and His Arc-Light of Death


You know all this.

I post and blog about it roughly every 15 minutes. You probably also know the great bookish rewards for every level from $10 to $500 (but which are included at the bottom just in case).

You know this is to support my creation of the novels themselves but also the production of THE BIG BOOK, the faux-leatherbound and gold-stamped omnibus edition of all three books.

None of these books will end up being written without the assistance of this funded Kickstarter, and the universe NEEDS these books, so I’m going a little “Crazy Sean’s Fire Sale” here and throwing caution to the wind.

But what if there were rewards a little more … emotionally satisfying?

Huh? HUHHH? (nudging, winking)

I send out a call to any well-heeled sadists who might be interested in rewards the likes of which … well, I hereby offer myself, in exchange for your simoleons, to perform on video whatever monkey-boy stunt you want. Here’s some suggestions, but I encourage you to come up with your own and pledge at the $500 level (it could be negotiable—email me) to make it happen—and don’t forget, you can pool your pledges for the debauched fun! (Peeps in Las Vegas obviously can do this in person, but outside of the Valley you get video!)

  • I will get the 2″ x 2″ tattoo of your choice (and wife’s approval).
  • I will walk down the Las Vegas Strip in my underwear and greet tourists like I’m a celebrity.
  • I will place any bet on any game in any Vegas casino (you must provide the scratch, or I can just do $5) and send you the winnings or use it how you instruct.
  • I will post a YouTube video of me reading a Victorian erotic novel.
  • I will write a chapter of a Victorian erotic novel and do the above.
  • I will go on a water-only fast for a week, providing regular video updates and without cheating.
  • I will go to a strip club, act like an insane Russian tourist, and tip the dancers in ruble notes.
  • I will be zapped, shaved in sensitive areas, you name it!

2.jpg

Honestly, I will eat this. Or other horrible things. On public video. Get creative!

You get the idea. The only off-limits things are:

  • No messing with the beard.
  • No hate crimes. Well, no official crimes, really. (Crimes against fashion or good taste are fine.)
  • No drawing mustaches on corpses at funerals.
  • Anything my wife will not allow.

You can email me at sean@seanhoade.com to make your offer, and we’ll work out something to make you able to express your inner sadist.

So let your sick imagination run and name your price.

Let’s get this sucker funded!

New rewards listed in red below … and they are very cool.

Pledge $10 or more

At this level, you get:

  • The first novel in paperback, signed and inscribed:
    • Tesla and Darwin Fight Edison’s Megalodons
  • AND you will also be thanked in the acknowledgements in the faux-leatherbound omnibus edition!


Pledge $17 or more

  • The first AND second novels in paperback, signed and inscribed:
    • Tesla and Darwin Fight Edison’s Megalodons 
    • Tesla and Edison Reluctantly Unite Against the Order of the Mystic Eye
  • AND you will also be thanked in the acknowledgements in the faux-leatherbound omnibus edition!

Pledge $25 or more

At this level, you get YOUR CHOICE:

  • Signed and inscribed paperbacks of ALL THREE novels
    • Tesla and Darwin Fight Edison’s Megalodons 
    • Tesla and Edison Reluctantly Unite Against the Order of the Mystic Eye
    • Tesla and Nellie Bly Fight Against Mirror Telsa and His Arc-Light of Death
  • OR
    • eBooks of ALL THREE novels 
  • AND you will also be thanked in the acknowledgements in the faux-leatherbound omnibus edition!


Pledge $50 or more


Pledge $75 or more

  • Audiobooks of all three novels AND Cthulhu Attacks!
  • Paperbacks of all three novels
  • eBooks of EVERY NOVEL I HAVE WRITTEN, including the Tesla Trilogy!
  • AND thanks in the faux-leatherbound omnibus edition acknowledgements!

Pledge $100 or more

AT THIS LEVEL, YOU GET THE BIG BOOK!

  • A NUMBERED AND SIGNED copy of the faux-leather-bound, gold-stamped omnibus hardcover edition of all three novels! THIS IS THE ULTIMATE EDITION OF THE TESLA TRILOGY!
    • Only 50 rewards (so that’s 50 omnibus books) will be available at this level!
  • ONE HOUR of FREE fiction coaching (value: $100/hr.)
  • Audiobooks of all three novels AND Cthulhu Attacks!
  • Paperbacks of all three novels
    • eBooks of EVERY NOVEL I HAVE WRITTEN, including the Tesla Trilogy!
  • AND thanks in the faux-leatherbound omnibus edition acknowledgements!


Pledge $250 or more

  • TWO NUMBERED AND SIGNED COPIES of the faux-leather-bound, gold-stamped omnibus edition of all three novels! THIS IS THE ULTIMATE EDITION OF THE TESLA TRILOGY. Keep one and gift the other!
    • Only 20 rewards (so that’s 40 omnibus books) will be available at this level!
  • ONE HOUR of FREE fiction coaching (value: $100/hr.)
  • Audiobooks of all three novels AND Cthulhu Attacks!
  • Paperbacks of all three novels
  • eBooks of EVERY NOVEL I HAVE WRITTEN, including the Tesla Trilogy!
  • AND thanks in the faux-leatherbound omnibus edition acknowledgements!


Pledge $500 or more

At this, the ULTRA-PREMIUM level, you get:

  • The sadistic or just crazy order of your choice (see above).
  • A VERY LIMITED EDITION velvet Tesla fez! (Your size will be requested when it’s reward time.)
  • TWO NUMBERED AND SIGNED COPIES of the faux-leather-bound, gold-stamped omnibus edition of all three novels! THIS IS THE ULTIMATE EDITION OF THE TESLA TRILOGY. Keep one and gift the other!
    • Only 10 rewards (so that’s 20 omnibus books) will be available at this level!
  • ONE HOUR of FREE fiction coaching (value: $100/hr.)
  • Audiobooks of all three novels AND Cthulhu Attacks!
  • Paperbacks of all three novels
  • eBooks of EVERY NOVEL I HAVE WRITTEN, including the Tesla Trilogy!
  • AND thanks in the faux-leatherbound omnibus edition acknowledgements!
  • ONE LAST THING: At this level I will use TWO names of your choice to be the names of members of The Order of the Mystic Eye, Tesla & Edison’s nemesis in Book 2!

Pledge to The Tesla Trilogy Kickstarter now!

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