Get a Christmas present to keep or to give with your Tesla Trilogy Kickstarter pledge!

Hello, you good-looking bunch of blog readers, you.

As you know, I’ve been humping the “Tesla Trilogy Kickstarter” key on this accordion for 12 days or so, but that’s only because it’s INCREDIBLE and we would all feel bad if you were left out. It ends December 7 and if it is funded, joy will reign over our dear planet.

Sometimes you gotta wait SO long for KS rewards, amirite? (I am.) What if you want your hard-earned cashola to net you something NOW, in time for Christmas? Well, much like Mufasa talking to Simba, I come from the skies now to guide you to a WONDERFUL new Kickstarter reward, one that you can get or give for Christfestmukkahza:

ANY PLEDGE OF $50 OR MORE GETS YOU ANY BOOK FROM MY BACKLIST, SENT IMMEDIATELY UPON THE KICKSTARTER’S FUNDING ON DECEMBER 7!

WAY IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, AND I’LL EVEN SHIP IT FOR YOU!

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$100 Tesla Kickstarter pledge nets you $300 in rewards

As of this writing, my Tesla Trilogy Kickstarter is at $2,260 (of the $5,000 goal) with 9 days left. I think that perhaps those wonderful people on the fence about taking part don’t realize the return they shall get on their $100 investment. (Pledges above that get even more, including multiple copies of the big and fancy edition!) Check out this video outlining the project (be sure to turn your sound on!):

For your Kickstarter pledge of $100, you get the following dollar amount of wonderful rewards. Altogether, it’s THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS worth of Tesla Trilogy goodies!

  • $54: All three books @ $15 each plus $3 shipping
  • $15: All three ebooks @ $4.99 each
  • $45: All three Audible audiobooks @ 14.95 each
  • $86 to much more: The faux-leatherbound, gold-stamped hardcover omnibus edition containing all three books. The press run will be limited to 100 numbered and signed copies. Any that are not snapped up by Kickstarter supporters will be sold at Cons for $75, then someday resold for epic amounts of money. ($11 for shipping is included in your Kickstarter contribution!)
  • $100: One hour of professional fiction coaching by Yours Truly. I really do charge $100/hr. for this service, and it has helped numerous clients go from inchoate idea to totally choate plot, characters, and more.
  • Priceless: Your name listed in the “Thank You” portion of each book (including the fancy edition).

Yes, sirree (or possibly missie or ma’amie), you get a lot more rewards than just $100 worth. Won’t you contribute today so this incredible Kickstarter can get funded and everybody can get three times their investment back?

So, please, go now to TeslaTrilogy.com and be a part of an exciting literary event—everyone will be ultra-glad you did!

Love,
Sean

BOO CRAP VIDEO! YAY COOL VIDEO!

As you know, my friends, I am in the midst of, in all modesty, THE GREATEST KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN since Hercules asked for a little help to buy a squeegee for his Augean Stables project.

It is The Tesla Trilogy, and if you are a faithful follower of my blog, you know all about its groundbreaking tales of adventure featuring Nikola Tesla, the hottest innovator since Prometheus. (GET IT? I am a renowned person who makes references to Classical literature to look smerter.)

dunce1.jpg

Little-known fact: “Dunce” is actually Latin for “smert.”

My first video for the campaign was, um, let’s just say a bit “slapdash.” I sat out on my porch and talked to my shaking iPhone. The reviews were harsh and the results very poor indeed. But that is all in the past—and, more importantly, deleted—and it has been replaced by a fun and informative video about the entire trilogy, set to my favorite music of all time of EVAR. Please check it out, won’t you? Be sure to have your sound on!

There’s just two weeks from today (it ends December 7) to get on board the Tesla Trilogy Kickstarter steam-powered locomotive!

Crazy trainLittle-known fact: “Locomotive” is Spanish for “crazy train.”

You will get all three novels, audiobooks, eBooks, and possibly even a Tesla fez and a faux-leatherbound, gold-stamped, signed and numbered hardback omnibus edition of all three books!

Hope to see you there, my friends.

Sean

We must make the World we want to live in!

When I took my nightly peyote tablet washed down with Absinthe last night and hooked my legs over the bar in the closet and hung upside-down to rest, two visions came to me:

In one, my Kickstarter for The Tesla Trilogy gets fully funded and the world has these wonderful books …

Happy Tesla Land

But in the other, it doesn’t get funded and … well, look for yourself! It’s too horrible for me to contemplate any further!

Sad No-Tesla Land

Avoid the horrors of terrible books and incandescent lighting! Please become a part of The Tesla Trilogy Kickstarter today!

Your friend in the fight,
Sean

Why risk not backing my Kickstarter? Read this and reap the benefits!

I don’t wish to alarm anyone. This letter, although gruesome in subject and harrowing in aspect, does not threaten a lack of well-being if it is not passed on or if you do not accede to its request for funding the most awesome tril[STOP THAT. Ahem. Excuse me. The hype machine has apparently lost the widget thing that keeps it from hyperbole. All apologies].

To continue, this letter does not ask you to fear the future. It simply asks you to look at the evidence of the PAST. Have any of these ever befallen you or one you love, care about deeply, or call in the wee hours as drunk as a pickled Irishman? Think carefully now, and remember … yes, remember … has the following ever happened to you or anyone you know?

  • In school, a bigger kid bullied you, physically or psychologically.
  • At work, a higher-ranking employee bullied you, whether in your cubicle or in his or her fancy goddamn office.

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The Tesla Trilogy and You: Act Now! Ask Me How!

(This mega-entertaining, ultra-informative, and relentlessly useful blog entry is dedicated to one Bunny Reynolds, who got me off my butt at last.)


I hereby plead guilty, in the First Short Circuit Court of Bloggage, to the charge of Blog Abandonment On Account Of I Got Busy With Other Stuff.

The sentence is “Sheepishly and Apologetically Get Your Lazy Ass Posting Again.” Plus 1 hour and 30 minutes of watching Paul Blart 2, which manages to make my adoptive home town of Vegas look really stupid instead of just really tacky. (I got off easy — I could have been sentenced to watch Last Vegas, starring the dessicated corpses of Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, goddamn Robert DeNiro, and Kevin Kline. In their memory, I pour out a bottle of Easy Paycheck, their favorite vintage.)

Cast of Las Vegas

So lifelike!

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