Sing along with “My Geekiest Things”!

(sung to the tune of “My Favorite Things”)

Star Trek and Stars Wars and, yes, Babylon 5
Non-canonical works which from these they derive
Gordons so Flashy and Merciless Mings
These are a few of my geekiest things

Rolling a 1 when it comes to charisma
The air in the basement that bothers my asthma
Playing an elf like in Lord of the Rings
These are a few of my geekiest things

High-waisted trousers and glasses most nerdy
Sweating whenever I see a girl who is purty
Holograms for girlfriends and Bitcoin for bling
These are a few of my geekist things

When the tech breaks, when the blog pings
When I’m feeling lame
I simply remember my geekiest things
And I still feel the same

May 5th Comics Day and May 4th be with you
Black Lantern and Batman both in the same issue
Whoppers and french fries from Burger King
These are a few of my geekiest things

Fire and Ice from one George R. R. Martin
Flame wars on Facebook that I’m always startin’
Astronomy news that’s so interesting
These are a few of my geekiest things

Hating the prequels that came from George Lucas
Spitting on foes ’cause I made too much mucus
Con girls doing cosplay who treat me like a king
These are a few of my geekiest things

When the Coke spills, when the trolls sting
When I’m feeling lame
I just remember my geekiest things
And then I still feeeeeeeel the saaaaaaaaaaame!


I read the hilarious “MudMen” at CthulhuCon!

If you ever want a great audience for a reading, take your Lovecraftian story to CthulhuCon and give a rousing rendition of your work. It was a triumph last year, and it was a triumph this year.

Note of perhaps maybe interest: My buddy Greg took this video of me reading, and then I used like all this software to enhance the audio. I did a THING! So proud of myself. Too proud, I’m sure. Anyway, enjoy to me reading “MudMen” at CthulhuCon PDX last weekend:

Also, don’t forget you can support a writer who loves you for YOU. Watch this other video (if you like) and learn how to become like a Medici or a Carnegie, a patron of the arts:

With love,

It’s Official and Confirmed: I’ll be on Zombiepalooza Radio May 1st from 9–10 pm ET!


Tune in to (or and listen LIVE. Also, the whole show will be on YouTube so you can listen later even if you couldn’t be by your computer, tablet, or phone during the broadcast!

And if you want to know what all the hubbub is about, we’ll be discussing zombies in general but specifically my new novel (autographed copies available at the link) Reviva Las Vegas! 

Tune in, turn undead, and drop by, won’t you?

Heading out for CthulhuCon 2015!

It’s the only festival that understands.

readyforcthulhucon2015Specifically, the only one that understands why you need to wear a Cthulhu glengarry and a King In Yellow t-shirt while hobnobbing with the most illustrious and eldritch minds writing and editing today. Heading out for the airport very soon! WAY excited.

Watch this space for glorious updates!

Publicity: The Final Chapter (for now): CthulhuCon!

Here it is, Chapter 5, the Most Likely Final Chapter in what has turned out essentially to be a series about how I’m gearing up for the publicity push, but isn’t actually publicity as such. Also, I realized that I’ve been teasing the Zombiepalooza Radio snafu all week without actually delivering on those teases. So drumroll, please! Here is the story of my scheduled April 17 interview on Jackie Chin’s zombie radio show: 

  1. There were technical difficulties.
  2. She accidentally double-booked me and another guest.
  3. We have rescheduled, probably for May 1st.

And that’s it. 

annoyed dog

“I cleaned my balls for that?

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5 Ways To Make Everyone Hate You And Your New Book

This weekend begins my Big Event Marketing Push, not only for my new Deadtown Abbey and Reviva Las Vegas!, but for my backlist as well. But saying “Big Event” is almost useless these days, since every shit writer in the world is doing worthless, annoying “events.”

So after many, many hours reading some truly awful self-pubbed books (and also many great ones, but those aren’t relevant here) and also looking at how their authors chose to publicize them, I think you should avoid doing any of the actions below.

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Publicity, Part 4! My “business model” comes into play

Before I start laying out my business plan, I must provide you with a caveat. That caveat is that taking business advice from me is kind of like taking tax tips from Wesley Snipes. What I mean is that if these ideas don’t actually land you in jail, they will result in your complete financial ruin and make you into joke material for snarky writers’ blogs.


Wesley had the choice between Blade 4 and prison. He chose wisely.

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