Supposedly fun dates that will make you want to die


We all want to make a good impression on a first date. We also want to have fun. This combination of ambitions for a meetup is completely understandable. But you know what else was perfectly understandable? Taking the Titanic on its maiden voyage.

If you want to avoid disaster with your new special friend, avoid these seemingly good ideas that will send your budding romance straight to Davy Jones’ Locker.

1. Skiing


You’re thinking: “Hey, it’s winter, there’s snow on the ground at a nearby ski resort, and we can get nice and cozy with a cup of cocoa at the lodge when we’re done.”

The reality: Skiing can be fun, but whether you’re tackling K2 or just a bunny slope, it requires lots of (expensive) equipment. It also means that disparate skill levels can lead to unintentional frustration, condescension, arguing, and a very tense evening at that lodge. Also, there is quite the real chance of injury, and a trip to the hospital to get a broken leg set makes for a less than auspicious beginning for a potential couple.

Instead, consider: Bowling. It’s a physical activity, you can have a beer or two, and you can even have some playful competition. But it’s bowling. It doesn’t matter who’s good or who’s bad at it—it’s just fun. Worried that bowling is too, shall we say, déclassé? Take her to a swanky tenpin emporium that’s part of a Vegas resort or casino. Or dress up in tux and gown to roll that ball—you will impress your date with your sense of fun and probably won’t break any major bones.

2. Breakfast For Dinner


You’re thinking: “We’re both really hungry and we don’t want the usual uppity steak dinner, but we still want that nice sit-down dining experience. OMG, let’s get breakfast at a cool diner!”

The reality: Pancakes and omelettes and bacon are all delicious, but they are also extremely heavy. A short stack alone will make you sleepier faster than two vodka martinis. You don’t want to call it quits because you’re having a carb crash before you even get to the club. Speaking of carbs, very few attractive women, like those looking for dates on, are going to want to load up on greasy, heavy food in front of a possible new beau, especially not on a first date. And no man wants to be the one who’s too sleepy to continue an evening together.

Instead, consider: Sushi. Why would this be a good alternative to an upscale breakfast eatery? Because it covers all the bases a first-date couple wants to check off. Sushi places offer a mind-boggling variety of dishes, and a couple can have fun exploring ones they’re never tried along with sharing their favorites. This makes both people look smart, adventurous, and fun. Also, sushi is a food that women will feel comfortable eating on a first date. (This is true even if she’s a vegetarian—there are a million veggie-friendly sushi varieties as well.)

3. Getting married


You’re thinking: “Wow, this person is exciting, loaded/beautiful, I know I want to be with them forever and this certainly isn’t infatuation or stinkingly blind intoxication telling me this. We’re in Vegas, for goodness’ sake. You want fun and spontaneous? This is the most of that EVAR!”

The reality: I’m writing this in the aforementioned city of Las Vegas, which of course is the “instantly regretted marriage” capital of the world. Movies from The Hangover to What Happens In Vegas feature characters getting liver-risking drunk and waking up married to someone who perhaps would not be their first choice when sober and in less flattering lighting. It’s amusing in the movies, but less so in real life. That bottle-fed “spontaneity” may actually be a sign of an almost demented lack of foresight. In other words, get drunk only at the reception, not before you exchange those vows. The awkwardness of (a) getting a quickie divorce or annulment, or (b) trying to stay married because “you said you’d never get divorced” is monumental. It’s a simple rule: Don’t “I do” it on a first date.

Instead, consider: Sex. It’s what you were going for with the whole crazy wacky drunken “let’s get married” thing anyway. We don’t usually recommend it for first dates, but it sure is a better choice than marrying someone you just met three hours earlier.

4. There’s always usually tomorrow

First dates should be fun and show off different facets of each person’s well-rounded personality. But you don’t have to conquer Rome the first day you get your sandals and a sword. Do something interesting on a first date, but remember that tried-and-true dates like dinner and dancing are old standbys for a reason. Get crazy on your second date if you want … but still, maybe don’t get drunk and married quite yet.


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