NEW SECTIONS OPEN for October local and videoconference workshops!

Hello, all! I wanted to let you know that my fiction workshops are starting up again in October. (CLICK HERE FOR AVAILABLE DAYS AND TIMES.) This is a safe and productive writing and critiquing environment where tales of the macabre and even Lovecraftian are most welcome (as are all other flavors of fiction).

“Sean Hoade’s Fiction Time Workshop has been an educational and rewarding experience. Sean’s expertise at both writing and workshop facilitation, together with superb classmates, have made it a treasure. Enthusiastically recommended.” — Sean I., Salt Lake City

This is an Iowa-Writer’s-Workshop–style graduate-level fiction workshop. It is being held in Las Vegas but anyone from anywhere can take part through live videoconferencing by Google Hangouts. The videoconferencing has turned out to be a HUGE hit with writers from across the country.

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BIG TIME ALERT: My first outgoing blurbage!

Hey, guys, getting ready to go on Con Trip II: This Time, It’s Not on a Fucking Bus! 

But first, I’m kind of excited because, even though Medicaid pays for my medicine and “scraping by” refers to those times when we pay the whole electric bill at once, I was asked for a blurb! And I did it and now it’s on the book and no one can take it away!

Check it. It’s for my friend Jim Smiley’s upcoming horror novel, Girl’s Night In, which stands all of the tropes of horror fiction on its head:

Blurb from Sean Hoade

Next time: OMG CONS!!!

New Tesla & Darwin cover concept art, but made awesome(r)

darwin and tesla

I posted the initial concept I had for the cover of Tesla & Darwin vs. Megalodon the other day and also sent it to my brilliant cover artist, Putnam Finch. He made it AMAZING and more amazing still is that he’s going to use this juiced-up version that he made for the model to be lettered by hand. Yeah. Think about it.


Tesla & Darwin fancier cover concept

So psyched! Writing happening NOW!

ZOMBIE ANATOMY at Salt Lake Comic Con!


I am so psyched for the Salt Lake Comic Con! I created the flyer below for the Panel Showcase, to help get some butts in them seats!


Two weeks from this very day, folks! Tickets still available! Some lucky attendees will be witness to:

  1. My marriage proposals to both Hayley Atwell and Emma Caufield
  2. My extreme Tasing by security
  3. My wife putting me down the garbage disposal, bit by lye-softened bit

Don’t miss it!

On the last day of the 99¢ Cthulhu Attacks! sale, Hoade gets bad news from his generals

Welp, at midnight Pacific time tonight, the eBook of Cthulhu Attacks! will end its epic 99¢ sale and go back to the apparently unreachable height of $2.99.

I was excited by my sales figures and leap in Amazon rankings, but my staff had to break some bad news to me in my underground bunker deep below and abandoned Borders. I was … well, just click on the video below for the whole story.

Hoade gets the bad news from his generals
Hope springs infernal.

Get your copy today, won’t you? It’ll piss Hitler off down in Hell SOOOO bad.

First concept art for cover of Tesla and Darwin vs. Megalodons!

This will be actually rendered into amazing cover art by the incredible talents of one Baron Putnam von Finch, but first I had to show him what I was thinking about for the visual on the front cover. (The back cover is another story, equally fascinating, but I find it’s good to parse these things out lest ladies get the vapors and men start challenging one another for supremacy using Queensbury Rules fisticuffs.) Take a gander:

Tesla-Darwin proof of concept

There will be color, &c., but this old-time circus sideshow poster is what I wanted. What do you think? I mean, other than YOU LOVE IT. This will be the next book of mine out from Severed Press, to be following by Book 2 of the Cthulhu Attacks! trilogy.


But shit, it was 99 cents (Bag it!)

♫ Seanie used to work on his books
Novel’s now on sale
He’s down on his luck
It’s tough, so tough … ♫

One of the reasons I do this blog, other than the chicks and the Cristal bottle service, is to share with you the triumphs and tragedies of being what one friend euphemistically called “an emerging writer” rather than the wholly misleading “midlist author.” (Most of us are “emerging” at the pace—and with the horror—of a 24-pound breech baby with claws, but at least it’s an optimistic term.)

its alive baby 1
“Okay! Midlist! I’m a midlist author!”

I think I’m a good writer, and the more continual I keep my actual writing efforts, the smoother and better I get. However, I have the marketing skills of a leper with no bag on his head and a broken clapper. That’s why, when Severed Press, my astute and lovely publisher, told me that sales of Cthulhu Attacks! have been “a little disappointing,” I was ready to do what they said, follow their lead, bang their drum, &c.

Well, what they said was that they were putting the Kindle version of Cthulhu Attacks! on sale for … girding my loins here, whatever that means … 99 cents.

Man in 99 cent store covering his junk.
Prices so low you’ll need to shield your genitals.

99 cents. Yes, it is the (non-racial) ghetto of Kindle books, reserved mostly for bad zombie novels and erotica stories so short you could finish reading one while having a quickie and still have time left to apologize. That said, Severed knows what it’s doing, and if more people buy the book during this sale, that will increase word-of-mouth sales, because the book really is damned good.

So, starting today at 12:01 a.m. and going 160 hours (which makes it end on Wednesday at 4 a.m., prime book-shopping time somewhere in the world), Cthulhu Attacks! will go from its Olympic pricing height of $2.99 down to a more check-it-out friendly 99 cents. The hope is that it will make sales less disappointing and lead to even more sales as people who have read it tell others—perhaps through fecking Amazon reviews—and then those people brave the $2.99 regular price for this awesome book.

Also, if you have Kindle Unlimited, you can read it for free.

“ZOMG, free? So worth it!”

Also if you read (or flip through) at least the first 25 pages of the book when you get it from Kindle Unlimited, I get paid. So cue the Sarah McLachlan music, because I need you to rescue Cthulhu Attacks! from the sad kill-shelter of disappointing sales.


♫ I will remember you immediately change the channel … ♫

So let’s make this temporary visit to the Island of Misfit Tomes pay off for my publisher, please? If you don’t already have Cthulhu Attacks, maybe possibly buy the 99-cent Kindle version this week and tell people how great it is and how they should get it at 4:01 a.m. next Wednesday. It will result in more books from me and happiness all around, most assuredly! Otherwise I might retire from writing to spend more time with my alcohol.

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