What does “human” taste like?

I had a lot of fun discussing this with my university zombie classes. It was a pretty disgusting thing to think about, but they signed up for it!

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“Tastes like chicken! No, sorry, it tastes like Chuck N.!”

From The Independent:

What does human meat taste like?

Two London chefs are this week trying to come up with a burger that tastes like human flesh, while Hannibal is busy cooking lung and loin bourguignon over on NBC, but exactly what flavor do [humans] have? …

Read the rest!

10 things you should never say to a writer

From the incomparable Chuck Wendig:

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“YOU KNOW, I WANNA WRITE A BOOK SOMEDAY.”

They say this to you with this wistful gleam in their eye, as if writing is just a hobby, like it’s just some distant silliness that they’ll get to when they manage to win the lottery. A worse (the worst, even) version of this is: I have a book in me.

Your response: “I don’t come down to your job and tell you, ‘I wanna be a janitor someday.’ You have a book in you? Well, you better do what I did, which is take a long hard squat in front of a computer or a notebook and force that story out, because that’s the only way this thing gets written. I don’t just have one book in me. I have hundreds. I have thousands. I am large, I contain multitudes. Whole libraries where every book has my name on its spine, motherfucker. Don’t write a book someday, write a book today. That’s what I did.”

Then, drop the mic. Right on their foot …

Keep reading this article!

A man who hasn’t been on a first date in 17 years gives some first-date advice

Hey, guys! I’ve been working diligently on Cthulhu: The Novel, and I shall have updates and such very soon. In the meantime, check out my advice column at WhatsYourPrice.com, where I talk this time about chivalry on a first date:

Chivalry Isn’t Dead, But It Might Be Getting Slightly Confused

Dating has become more sophisticated, if not downright tricky, over the past few decades. It used to be that dinner and a movie or maybe the proverbial long walk on the beach would suffice for a couple just getting to know each other. There are pitfalls, however, as social mores and gender roles have grown more elastic. Here are a few conundra you’ll be hard-pressed to avoid, along with our WhatsYourPrice opinion on the matter.

What we call “chivalry” in the 21st century is a far cry from the “loving but never touching” rules of the Middle Ages, of course. Now there are niceties such as opening doors for one’s date, or pulling out her chair for her in restaurants, or even who pays up when the waiter brings the check.

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Still popular, however, is the old “make sure she’s not a witch made of wood” routine.

Click here to read the rest!

 

 

Zombie Apocalypse: Alternate Endings

Originally posted on Jack Flacco:

Every enemy has a weakness. Every foe has a flaw. With zombies, it’s the head. You’ve heard it before. Shoot them pointblank in the face and they will no longer pose a threat.

Photo by Martin SoulStealer [Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.]

Photo by Martin SoulStealer [Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.]

But what if a new breed of zombie doesn’t respond to the universal bullet to the temple, then what? What if zombies could withstand a pummeling, and rise again to keep advancing toward a fragile humanity ready for extinction?

We’d all be in trouble, wouldn’t we?

For today’s Monday Mayhem, let’s explore the universe of zombies and their alternate endings. Humans can’t always win.

An Invincible Brain—In the 1978 movie Halloween, Michael Myers is a little boy who grows up to become a possessed psychotic out to seek vengeance against his hometown. Michael withstands a knife to the face and a coat…

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We came, we shambled, we talked George Romero.

This is a video of the very fun panel discussion on George Romero’s zombie legacy. The guy with the Band-Aid® on his nose is the bass player for Anthrax and also quite the horror movie fanatic (who woulda thunk it?). I recommend skipping to the parts where I am talking, which increase the more time has gone by BECAUSE I MUST RESCUE THE AWESOME. I hope you enjoy!

I hope to go back for the Fan Xperience in Spring 2015 and then the Comic Con again in September 2015! w00t!

Is murder legal in Utah? Because I KILLED with my talk at the SLC Comic Con

I was invited as a special guest to the Salt Lake City Comic Con last weekend, and I sat on one panel — a George Romero retrospective, very fun — and gave a one-hour talk on “Creating the Perfect Scene,” using the ideas of several well-known writing gurus and presenting them with my own twist and style.

It was a hit. Huge. Like cheering at the end. It was, to say the least, a heady moment in my life. But even more than that, I talked to some attendees afterwards and they told me that this was just what they needed to get themselves actually writing that book they had always dreamed about. I was very proud to have helped them, and very flattered that Dan Farr (the founder of SLCCC) gave me such an outlet to help fledgling writers.

The video is on YouTube, and right here as well:

I loved this Con, and I hope to be able to enjoy the magic, sell my books, and spread the gospel of creative writing to more audiences. What a rush.